Arbitrary Randomness
Tuesday, June 26, 2001
Have you heard the radio commercial for McDonald Rentals?? That jingle gets stuck in my head sometimes.... if you haven't heard it, you can here it here.
Monday, June 25, 2001
How do they get the Ms on M&M's??
I think i actually read this, that they are sprayed on somehow, but I don't remember the details. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I stole this question from an episode of Webster... at least i think it was Webster.... he was havign some sort of dream sequence where he was in a boxing match, and the referee gave the rules and asked, "any questions?" and Webster said, "How do they put the Ms on M&M's?"

So what has Emmanuel Lewis been up to these days??
Friday, June 22, 2001
I will probably catch a lot of crap for this one, but....
Movies that didn't live up to their hype (in my opinion):

There are probably a lot more, but those are the ones that come to mind.

And to reverse it.... crap movies that I enjoyed (should I really admit this??)....

Well, there's got to be more, I just can't think of any right now. I had a few in my mind, and now i can't remember them.
Here's a discouraging thought..... Every day from now until December will be shorter than the previous day.... well, each day will be 24 hours, but the amount of daylight will decrease from now until December
Thursday, June 21, 2001
It's not a lie if you believe it's true....

If i tell you something that isn't true, but in my mind, it is true, am I technically lying to you??

Let's say there is a jar of pickles.... and I counted the pickles, and counted 14 pickles, but I mis-counted, and there are only 13 pickles. If i tell you that there are 14 pickles in the jar, am I lying to you?? If I took a lie detector test, I think i would pass, because as far as I know, I am telling the truth. Even though I am not telling the truth.... am I lying???

Merriam Webster defines a lie as:
1 : to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
2 : to create a false or misleading impression
1 a : an assertion of something known or believed by the speaker to be untrue with intent to deceive b : an untrue or inaccurate statement that may or may not be believed true by the speaker

According to Verb definition 1 and Noun definition 1a, I think that I wouldn't be lying, since there is no intent to deceive. Although Verb 2 and Noun 1b, I would be lying, because I am creating a false impression that there are 14 pickles (even though it is not intentional).

OK, i've gone on way too long on something that really doesn't matter.... Got any more football questions Russ??
Wednesday, June 20, 2001
I may have lied a few blogs ago... I said I knew what each person said on the Cosby Show when they met Stevie Wonder, but I am drawing a blank on what Denise said. If you know, please send an email and let me know.

Cliff: "Baby" (from saying 'i have to go deliver a baby')
Claire: "aaaaaaaa" (singing a musical note)
Denise: ???????
Theo: "Jam it on the one"
Vanessa: "I don't know what to say?"
Rudy: "aaahahhhahaha" (the sound a giraffe makes)
my theory that the ground is connected to the sky....

When do we see worms? Well, we see them when dig in the ground, but we also see them out on the sidewalks when it's raining. I've never seen a worm emerge from the ground when it's raining, they are just all of a sudden in the middle of the sidewalk, or parking lot.... they must have come down with the rain.... there must be a connection somewhere in the ground where the worms go up to the sky and fall down with the rain.
Tuesday, June 19, 2001
Do Cow's really wear cow bells? If so, do they walk around with a drum stick and bang on it to let farmers know where they are? If a cow can play the cow bell are there other instruments that they can play? are there cow bands out there... why am i picturing a farside cartoon right now?

"I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more cowbell!" (Christopher Walken on SNL in the BOC skit)
Monday, June 18, 2001
What ever happened to:

I did a search on Towne Club and there was an article in the newspaper a few years ago about some local bottling company supplying Town Club in local stores. I've seen it once, but not a lot. Hopefully it will make a come back.
Friday, June 15, 2001
Only 78 days until kickoff of the University of Michigan Football Season. That's just two and a half months.

Is the tolerance of temperature related to who pays the bills?? When I was living with my parents, I can remember feeling warm when the temperature in the house in the summer was 75, and I thought it should be cooler... now, I find that when the thermostat is at 75, i am very comfortable.... Is that cuz I know it will cost more to bring that temp down to 72 or 71, and I am more comfortable saving that money than being cooler?
I know it was an ozone action day yesterday, but garbage day is today... it's been an ozone action day the last three days, so I haven't been able to mow my lawn, and if I wait until Friday or Saturday to mow, then the grass will sit in the cans all week, and it will probably rain, and then the grass will stew for days, and smell like bad.... is there a worse smell out there than grass that has stewed for days?? and that smell just lingers... if you move the can somewhere, then your hand smells like bad...

speaking of smells that linger, i hate when i get gasoline on my hands, cuz that's there for the rest of the day... no matter how many times i wash my hands, I still have that smell on my hands!!!
Warning.... if you get queezy easily, you may not want to read this... Not that it is digusting, just finding something in my food.....

Last night i was enjoying a salad for dinner. I had a lot of left over vegetables from making stir fry last weekend, and those dang "buy one get one free" sales always suck me in. Last week, Farmer Jack had Buy one get one on a ton of stuff, and now i got more crap than i know what to do with. Anyway, I cut up my veggies, and use some salad out of those bags (the Dole pre cut stuff). Which reminds me... maybe i don't know how to take care of lettuce, but the last few that I've got, within a day or two, the lettuce gets all wilty and old looking. but finally, i got a bag that was really good, especially since it was about 5 days old already. It was really crisp, and yummy, and I got about half way through, took a stab for another bite and notice something black on my lettuce. Since I had just mowed the lawn, i thought maybe it was a piece of dirt that fell in or something, so I go to brush it off, and it's a DEAD FLY!!!! eck!!!!! Now I'm pretty sure the rest of the salad is fine, but i just had a sick feeling then, and spit out the salad that was currently in my mouth, and ran to the sink to rinse my mouth out.

Now I'm going to write a complaint to Dole, but I'm not sure if i'm trying to get anything out of this or not.... I don't really want more salad, i think I'm going to stick to buying heads of lettuce, and cutting and washing it myself. Maybe i could get a refund for my bag of salad. I did through out the whole bag, and i still have another bag I am debating what to do with, but cause the salad was also Buy one Get one free. AHHHHHH!!!!!
Reading Russ's blog about a/an and 1 + 1 = 11 reminded me of something I saw a long time ago. I don't recall where... it might have been some vandalism on a desk in college or something, not sure, but that's not important. It said:

1 + 1 = 3 for very large values of 1

is this considered geeky humor??
Wednesday, June 13, 2001
I apologize to anyone who is like me and had "J-J-J-J Jam it on the one" in their head all day.... which brings me to a question.... was it "Jam it on the one" or was it "Jammin' on the one"... neither one makes much sense to me.

has anyone noticed a new version of the Michigan license plates?? The good old blue ones seem to be a little different. The font is slightly different (a little smaller), and the color of blue may be different (although that could just be because they are newer). All of the ones that I've seen with the new font start with the letter 'U', with letters on the left, and numbers on the right. Not all license plates that start with a 'U' are the new ones, but all the new ones that I've seen so far start with a 'U'. (did that make sense?? it kinda like the "all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares").

Let me know if you see these, or if I am just weird (well, i know that i'm weird, but am i weird because of this).
I never got back to all 2-3 of you that read this of my experiment.... after awhile, i could have sworn that the "hot" tea was colder than the "cold" pop.... I thought about it, and I think it might have been roughly the same temperature (I didn't have a thermometer in my pocket... "maybe you left it in your other pants.... I ain't got no other pants" <---- Name that movie, and I'll 5 fictional Doug Dollars (sorry Doug Karsch.... I didn't mean to steal your phrase... but it has a nice ring to it)). I wonder if the carbonation has anything to do with what the temperature appears to be in your mouth. maybe i'm just making excuses for my lack of ability to tell temperatures.

Does anyone else have movie quotes randomly shooting through their brains?? Is this a guy thing?? I was sitting at work one day, and the guy in the cube next to me out of nowhere said "shoot zee glass" (Hans Gruber in Die Hard, when he knows that John McLain is barefoot). another day, he randomly said, "Jam it on the one... J-J-J-J-Jam it on the one".... I was somewhat embarrassed at the fact that not only did I know that it was from an episode of the cosby show that probably aired about 15 years ago, but I knew the exact episode (the one with Stevie Wonder where his limo hits Denise and Theo, and invites the whole family to his studio and records everyone saying something).... Another 5 fictional doug dollars to anyone who can email me the what each of the characters were recorded saying/doing.

Anyway, back to my original thought... do random movie lines pop in your head, or more so, movie lines that apply to your conversation? Then you say them, and no one knows what you are referring to??
Friday, June 08, 2001
Now I know this is probably just psychological or something, since chemistry, or physics (equilibrium or something) would prove me wrong but when I have a cold pop (or 'soda' for those in other areas), and it sits on my desk for awhile, and becomes room temperature, it tastes warm. But when i have a cup of hot tea or coffee on my desk and it comes to room temperature, it tastes cold (OK, i realize things can't TASTE hot or cold, that's a different sense, but you know what i mean).

Now I know that since i'm expecting hot, it tastes colder, and verse-vica, but even when I know.... it still seems like the "used to be hot" tea is colder than the "used to be cold" pop. I think I need to test this out and have a cold pop and hot tea sit on a desk for a long time, and see if that still holds true, tasting them at the same time.

I put a hot tea and a cold coke on my desk around 10:30 AM..... let them sit... sipping occasionally to check the temperature....As of 12:50 PM, the coke was still somewhat cool, and the tea was somewhat warm..... let's wait some more...

Thursday, June 07, 2001
Last night, while flipping through stations, and catching parts of games, I remembered something else that bugs me (oh no, i'm turning into HateHateHate ). In addition to the people at sporting events that are there for the free stuff, or only cheer when they pull out the giant slingshot (mentioned in previous blog below), those people who feel the need to get themselves on TV.

I do understand the desire to get yourself on TV, as I have fallen into that at times, but the people that really annoy me are the ones who do it in the middle of the game. Last night while watching a baseball game, there was a guy behind home plate talking on a cell phone (presumably to someone who was at home watching the game) and waving since he was on camera. Now i might be able to see a quick wave to say "hey look at me", but he was waving constantly through the whole inning (note to self.... future blog on people who annoy me when using cell phones at the wrong place and time).

Another instance I notice is during a hockey game, the idiots in the lower bowl who feel the need to wave their arms in the air, every time the puck is on their side of the ice, usually blocking part of the action. Again, I can somewhat (only somewhat) understand doing this once or twice to say "hey, I'm on TV", or even if it was a little kid, but to do it countless times throughout the game, that's just annoying.
Friday, June 01, 2001
I'm sitting here, looking at my "Far Side-a-day" calendar... don't get me wrong, I enjoy my calendar. But what ruffles my feathers (I don't think i've ever used that phrase before) is the rotation of the cartoons from year to year. I know that I am going to see repeats, because I've seen quite a few far sides in my time, and have had the "Far Side-a-day" calendar for pretty much the last 5-10 years. But there are such things as "Bad Far Sides" and I'm somewhat surprised when I see them in the Calendar. What gets me is when I see them repeatedly in the calendar. But I can understand that, because some people probably do find them funny. My problem isn't with the "bad ones". Like today's, there is a chef grabbing a stove, and shaking it trying to flip the pancake that is in the pan on the stove (rather than just using the pan). This one sticks out, because I had a conversation about this one with a co-worker of mine last year (and late in the year, at that). At first, I didn't even get the joke, and then after it was explained to me by my co-worker, we agreed that it wasn't that funny. I'm getting off on a tangent. Regardless of how funny a cartoon is, shouldn't it get at least a one year hiatus from the calendar?? There are many, many, many far sides... why not give the ones a try that weren't in last years calendar.

OK, I'm done complaining (for now).
It's amazing what people will do for free stuff. I was at the launch of Microsoft Office XP yesterday, and thousands of people showed up for the event, which is really cool, but my problem is this. Most of them only came for the free copy of Microsoft MapPoint 2002 (which most of the people who got it, probably have no clue what to use it for, but it was free so why not). After the general session yesterday is when they gave the free copy out. After that, I would guess that 50-70 percent of the people left. People will do anything for free stuff.

It annoys me at sporting events when the crowd is the loudest when they are giving away free stuff. Why the heck do people go to sporting events?!?!? Is it to get free giveaways, or to support their team?? If it is for free giveaways, why not just take the $20-$40 you spent on that ticket, and go to the store and by that $10 T-shirt that you tackled the old lady next to you to catch from the giant slingshot. Maybe I've just been at sporting events of teams that aren't doing so well, and the fair weather johnsons are out just to get the free t-shirt, and don't give a rip about the game.

I used to work at a movie theatre that gave out free mints after the show. Why do people feel the need to take advantage of the nice gesture of a free mint after the show, and stock up for the winter?? Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about the people who take 2, 3, 5, or maybe even 10... I'm talking about the people who walk by to go to the bathroom, grab a handful and stuff it in their pocket, then on the way back from the bathroom, grab another handful or two. Then on their way out after the movie (or on their way sneaking into another movie) grab another 2-3 handfulls.

I admit, I am attracted to the word FREE when I see it, but FREE doesn't necessarily mean "take as many as you want."
In response to Bill's blog regarding John Madden and mattresses... think of it this way.... If a mattress is strng enough and durable enough to support John Madden... think about how long that mattress will last for the average person. No offense to John Madden, I'm just saying that he's bigger than the average person.

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